The smile of the interlocutor becomes tense, he lowers his eyes, takes a deep breath, then a meaningful pause, after which begins to let you into all the terrible problems of life incidents, and the difficult circumstances of its existence… And you realize that you have got.
Everyone has friends who constantly complain about life, constantly dissatisfied with something, they are like a priori in all around I see the catch and an injustice to yourself. And the most interesting — they absolutely do not care about others, they believe that the problem is only they have that their whole life is one big “trouble”.
And even if you burned the house, stole the car, a sick child and you were fired from work, and at the same time their problem (Bob replied to my texts at 5 in the morning) is much more important. It’s all a disaster, it’s 9! And don’t know how to behave, I want to slowly turn around, to run away with all legs or to shout: “shut up!” — but for some reason standing under the Gypsy hypnosis, and listen to it all, feeling like one of you takes the joy of life and the world around begins to seem black and white.
The main goal of the whiners — that they regret it solved their problem, sympathize, convinced that everything is bad, insidious, and he’s a wonderful, talented and unique, and that all he will… You, without noticing it, offer any help from my side (this is a psychological defense triggered, you want to quickly get rid of a whiner you are willing to do to solve his problem, but would not listen to more of this insufferable nonsense).
A familiar situation? But it is very similar to how a beggar asks you for change, blocking the road, clinging to clothes, monotonously, incessantly and piteously begs you to empathise. You feel terribly uncomfortable, want to get rid quickly, although I know that it’s just a psychological trick, but still reach into my bag for my wallet… the same whiners — put pressure on the pity, bringing you out of emotional balance and persistently using whining to achieve their goals.
Stop! You are! These people can be much luckier and more successful you! You don’t have to clutter your mind with their negative streams of consciousness and be energy donors! They not only steal your precious time, taking advantage of your diplomacy and inability to refuse, they pull out you energy and can spoil the mood.
Remember, this man is a skilled manipulator, he believes that everyone always needs him, he himself, poor and miserable, don’t owe anyone anything. By the way, I noticed that if to achieve the goal they have to impress the “powers that be” that can misfire to their whining, they are dramatically changing, turning into jokers, Joker and optimists!
And you don’t allow themselves to be manipulated! If these people didn’t spend so much time on complaints, perhaps he would have achieved more.
Feel free to misfire them if you are not interested and do not want to listen to other people’s complaints, don’t listen! Ask a direct question: “Why are you telling me this?” or “how can I to do something for you?”… Or say: “sorry, I can’t help it.”
This behavior destroys the whole plan of a whiner, his usual behavior! Do not be afraid that such a person would be offended, you just protect yourself. Remember you are more important! And it is possible that this behavior you will have a person in good stead — and he will learn to cope with their problems on their own.
Of course the problems happen at all, and we should give each other assistance and support, but we should not encourage inaction, self-pity, belief that the world around is unfair and cruel! Especially if it’s a lifestyle!
Finally I would like to quote the words of Edward Asadova:
I hate all nerds and whiners, Poisonous joy year after year, Annoyed, whiny and eternal critics of Our most miserable times of adversity!
People build factories, housing uplift,People believe through difficulties to your success.A bore does not believe. He knows more.A boring salary and life abuses,a boring and whining all the torments.
How annoying is often on the road Where guys marching in the heat and sting:everyone was tired and All her husband’s feet,And bran and moans of all one.
He creaks, he pulls the strings of nerves:”Shakes shoes… When will we rest?”And a heavy backpack, and not the canned,and so if we go through all?!
And with such soul it of itself is busy,as If life going after strange than all lives:to Eat and drink just because he’s single and wants,and the only one in the world and is tired.
Yes, one gets tired and one suffers,throughout a good gust of ruining.Only one thing in life it does not bother Is to passionately love yourself.
Well, pray tell: when? zachemto-then invented a whiner and boring?After all, they, like rust is everywhere,even a little, and poison the life of all.
And I would like to ask them to quiet:- Enough heat to rake in someone else’s hands.Do not whine! Stay out of my way,don’t bother all people to live!